How Comparison Gets in the Way of Courageous Coaching (And What to Do About It)

If I had a pound for every time I’ve compared myself to another coach, I’d have a very healthy CPD budget.

Comparison is everywhere. It sneaks in when we’re scrolling through LinkedIn, reading someone else’s beautifully crafted post with dozens of comments. It creeps up when we hear about another coach’s thriving business, full practice, or impressive client list. And it’s right there when we start questioning whether we’re “good enough” or “doing it right.”

The problem? Comparison is a courage killer.

It makes us second-guess ourselves, hesitate before speaking up, and hold back from taking bold steps in our coaching work and businesses. And when we let it take over, we don’t just rob ourselves of opportunities—we rob our clients of the depth and presence they need from us.

So, how do we stop comparison from running the show? Let’s dig in.

The Courage-Crushing Power of Comparison

I remember early in my coaching journey, I attended a training programme with some incredibly experienced coaches. I felt like an imposter just being in the room. Their confidence, their ease with clients, even the way they spoke about their work—it all felt so far ahead of where I was.

Instead of feeling inspired, I froze. I held back in discussions. I worried about saying something that would expose my inexperience. And worst of all, I left the programme thinking, I’ll never be as good as them.

Sound familiar?

Comparison tricks us into believing that everyone else has it figured out while we’re still trying to find our feet. But here’s the truth: no one has it all figured out. And the moment we compare ourselves to others, we disconnect from our own courage.

Comparison can make us:

👉 Play it safe instead of coaching bravely—We default to what feels “acceptable” rather than trusting our instincts. 

👉 Hold back from sharing our thoughts, ideas, or experiences—We assume others know better, so we silence ourselves. 

👉 Feel like we need to “fix” ourselves before we’re ready to take the next step—

We tell ourselves we need another certification, another programme, or more experience before we can fully step into our work.

It can even show up in our coaching conversations. Have you ever worried that you’re not asking the “right” questions? That another coach would do it better? That your client might not be getting the best version of coaching? That’s comparison, pulling you out of presence and into self-doubt.

Three Ways to Break Free from Comparison

We can’t eliminate comparison entirely (we’re human, after all), but we can stop it from running the show. Here’s how:

1. Spot It When It Shows Up

Before you can shift it, you need to see it. Pay attention to when comparison creeps in. Is it when you’re scrolling social media? Sitting in a room with other coaches? Reading a client’s testimonial for someone else?

When you notice it, pause. Ask yourself:

💭 What story am I telling myself right now? 

💭 Is this story based on facts, or is it a narrative I’ve created?

Often, comparison is built on assumptions—we see someone’s polished online presence and assume their life and business are just as polished behind the scenes. But we don’t know their reality. They have doubts, challenges, and moments of uncertainty too.

2. Shift from Comparison to Curiosity

Instead of letting comparison drag you down, flip it into curiosity. If you admire another coach’s work, ask yourself:

🔍 What specifically do I respect about them? 

🔍 Is there something here I can learn from, rather than feel less than?

For example, if you find yourself drawn to a coach who speaks with confidence and clarity, instead of thinking I’ll never be that articulate, reframe it as: I wonder what helps them communicate so clearly? How might I experiment with my own voice in a way that feels true to me?

This moves you from a place of scarcity to a place of growth.

3. Anchor Into Your Own Coaching Courage

Courage in coaching doesn’t come from knowing all the right techniques. It comes from showing up as you. From trusting that who you are is how you coach.

Here are a few reminders for when you feel the pull of comparison:

💡 Your clients choose you for a reason—They resonate with you, not some idealised version of a coach. 

💡 You bring something unique that no one else can—Your experiences, your insights, your way of listening—it all matters. 

💡 The best coaching happens when you stop trying to be “right” and lean into being real—Your presence and authenticity are what create transformation.

When you feel comparison creeping in, reconnect with your strengths, your values, and your purpose. You don’t need to be like them—you need to be more of you.

The Coaching World Needs You, Not a Carbon Copy

If I could go back to that training programme where I felt so small, I’d remind myself of this:

🌱 Every coach starts somewhere. 

🌱 There’s no one “right” way to be a great coach. 

🌱 The work isn’t about being the best coach—it’s about being the most authentic coach you can be.

The coaching world doesn’t need more copy-and-paste coaches. It needs you—fully present, fully engaged, and fully trusting in your own voice.

So next time comparison shows up, pause. Recognise it for what it is. And then choose courage instead.

What’s one way comparison has shown up in your coaching? And how have you navigated it? Let’s start a conversation in the comments.

And if you're struggling with comparison and need some support, you know where I am.

About the Author

Melissa is a Leadership Coach and Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator based in Dorset, with a particular interest in supporting leaders and coaches to be more courageous in their work and lives.

Find out more about The Courageous Coach, Dare to Lead for Leaders or One to One and team coaching.